It all started with the kitchen window. That is to say, what once was a kitchen window and had become the back of an awful wall. We tore away drywall only to discover crimes against humanity and all that is sacred. In a nutshell, the former owner of our casa had achieved his wall by:
1) sledge-hammering the brick window sill
2) attaching arbitrarily sized 2x4s directly to the cinder-block using a powder-actuated "snoop" (see the Wire, Season 4) nail gun and hardened steel galvanized masonry nails.
we've got some ideas on the bricks, but we'll have to save it for later. let's talk about the nails. From time to time, one can pry out a nail. More often than not, prying out nails results in giant explosive "blisters," as can be seen in the photo above.
So occasionally, a nail comes willingly.
more often, however, they require more coercive, "alternative extraction" techniques.
After some trial and error, we have developed three basic techniques to efficiently remove these abominations from our wall. If you should find unsightly 2x4 lumber "snoop" nailed to your wall, perhaps our methods will work for you.
First, know your enemy. As pictured, the lumber is attached to the wall by a galvanized, hardened steel masonry nail driven into the wall by something akin to a blank .22 powder actuated charge. There may be a bit of space between the board and the wall; the nail may have sunk deeply into the lumber. if you are lucky, the nail may not be particularly well bonded to the wall, and it will pry our (relatively) willingly. do not become accustomed to this; it is a gift and will be the exception, not the rule. a crowbar or hammer with a flat chisel type prying surface is a good start. pry, as best you can, in the direction the nail was driven into the wall. of course, be careful of softer masonry and note that if the nail does not wrest free easily, it will probably take a good chunk of your wall with it, so move on to a power-tool alternative.
all home owners need a sawz-all, or some other brand of reciprocating saw. they are wonderful instruments, efficient at destruction. if there is a bit of space behind the lumber, or if you can create a bit of space by prying the board and crushing the wood against the giant washer, slip a 12 inch bi-metal 14tpi metal-cutting sawz-all blade behind the lumber and go nuts. the blade will happily bend a lot. alternatively, use a wood type blade, cut away a notch behind the washer, switch to a metal cutting blade, and summarily decapitate the nail (this method is pictured above, right).
sometimes, an angle-grinder is a far superior tool for decapitating nails. compared to sawz-all solutions, angle grinders and metal cutting blades are inexpensive ($30 and $3 each respectively). it helps to pre-cut a notch in the wood, but it is not fully necessary. using a narrow metal cutting type blade, just go nuts and cut straight through the washer, wood, nail, whatever. these blades are not terribly efficient at cutting through wood, but they're inexpensive and effective enough. expect lots of sparks.
in both the sawz-all and especially the angle grinder methods, expect a lot of heat. keep handy a dripping-wet rag. when you start to smell wood smoke, douse the nail until it stops hissing. this should be sufficient to avoid spontaneous combustion.
there are a few variations on the power tool methods. for example, sometimes, it works well to cut partially through a nail and then use a crow-bar to pop off the top of the nail. it is exciting when the head of the nail and/or the washer shoots across the room with some velocity, but you might cover windows. did i mention that the nail-head-projectile will be super hot? i had some luck bending the nails while they were hot and then cooling them - presumably weakening them a little bit before popping off the top or smacking the board to snap them off at the base. in the end, it's a free-for-all - you against the nails.
after the nails have been decapitated, the lumber comes off the wall without much problem. of course, then you are left with a bunch of 1.5" steel death-pins sticking out of your wall. the sawz-all will take off this nail - bend the blade flat against the wall. the angle grinder is much more efficient, and there are lots of sparks.
one porch liberated, one to save.
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